New Lamps for Old – Death is but a Doorway
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: This is story #1 of 4 that have major characters' personal memories removed and their souls switched around to see how they’d do. In case you were wondering this is an old Naruto switched out with a post wedding Ranma in a Sailor Moon crossover verse.
1. Chapter 1

**New Lamps for Old – Death is but a Doorway**

**Disclaimer: I own no anime series or franchise.**

He stretched and looked around him. He was in a crater and his head hurt. Come to think of it, most of him hurt, but especially his stomach.

Recognizing the effects of a strong poison he quickly induced vomiting. He was surprised someone had tried to poison his food. It usually took enough poison to change the flavor and color of the food in obvious ways just to affect him.

After evacuating the contents of his stomach, which contained far too much blood for his liking, he climbed out of the crater to see where he was.

He was in a park somewhere, a mostly empty park and the few people that were left were quickly evacuating the area.

A loud explosion behind him let him know that he wasn't the cause of the mass evacuation. Turning around he beheld the strangest sight he'd ever seen.

A bunch of girls in brightly colored outfits with the shortest skirts he'd ever imagined were fighting a vending machine with arms and legs.

They were throwing around some impressive attacks. It was too bad they couldn't seem to hit what they were aiming at.

* * *

The vending machine youma dodged like mad, really wishing she hadn't run into the Senshi. She looked big and boxy, but she moved like greased lightning to avoid the attacks being shot at her.

"I sell used panties, and I was just draining perverts! I'd think you'd be in favor of that," she yelped, ducking an attempted exorcism by Sailor Mars.

"Then why did Haruka get weak?" Venus demanded, only to fall silent as everyone froze.

"Heh," Uranus laughed nervously, blushing as the rest of the Senshi rolled their eyes.

"I'm not a bad girl, don't fry me!" she pleaded, trying to hide behind a bench.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit," Sailor Mars promised as Sailor Moon cast a huge blast of white magic which missed the hastily dodging youma by several feet.

"How do you know?" she snorted incredulously, looking for something bigger to hide behind. "Ever had it done to you?"

"Have you seen her aim?" Mars retorted. "Of course we've had it done to us!"

"Hey!" Moon protested, but was ignored by everyone.

"Well, I'm not you! What may tickle you may feel like burning alive for a youma!" she yelled, running for it.

"Sorry, but it's what we do," Sailor Moon said before hurling a literal wall of power at the possessed vending machine.

The Senshi watched in shock as the youma dodged behind a battered figure, just as the wave of purifying magic hit.

* * *

He blinked a couple of times to try and clear the afterimages from his eyes as he realized he was sitting down, leaning against a vending machine while surrounded by the short skirted girls. A word seemed to come from deep inside him, "Beautiful!" and then it all went black.

* * *

"How are you feeling, Mr. Satome," the doctor asked.

"Beautiful," he repeated the last word he'd said when he awoke, finding himself in a hospital room.

The blue haired doctor laughed, "Save that for my daughter, she's the one who brought you in here. She said she found you in the park following a youma attack. You're healing at an incredible rate, not something completely unexpected from someone caught in one of Sailor Moon's attacks, but you were suffering from several cracked ribs, a serious blow to the head, and some kind of neurotoxin."

The doctor frowned. "We dealt with the toxin as best we could, but we'd like to keep you under observation until it's completely out of your system."

"That's fine," he replied. "I know better than to go against a doctor's orders. I do have one question before you go though..."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Who am I?"

"You're joking, right?" she asked looking down at her patient in shock.

"Nope, I wish I was, but I'm not."

"I've never ran into an actual case of amnesia outside a soap opera, but considering the head wound I suppose it's possible," she muttered to herself.

"You are Ranma Satome, I've already spoken to Mrs. Satome and she's on her way over. She'll be able to tell you far more about yourself than I could. If you don't mind visitors, I have some girls who are very anxious to meet you."

"Sure, send them in," Ranma said as the doctor left.

A group of familiar looking girls crowded around him, all talking at once until a blonde whistled to get their attention. "Hey! One at a time, he can't answer everyone at once you know."

Ranma looked at the group of girls. "What was with the short skirts, and wasn't there two more of you back in the park? Another blonde, and a girl with light green hair?"

"Nope, not us..." the blonde with her hair up in buns said nervously, just as a blonde with short hair came in with a girl with long light green hair behind her.

Ranma blinked as the girls groaned before continuing, "No, seriously what is up with the skirts? You need something to protect your legs, because leg injuries inhibit your mobility and mobility is life in battle."

"You sound like someone who knows," the short haired blonde commented curiously.

"I guess I do. We'll have to ask my family member when she gets here," Ranma replied. "Because all I remember is waking up in a crater and wandering over to see your fight, the doc had to tell me my name."

Quickly remembering their manners, everyone introduced themselves with Usagi and Minako introducing their cats as well.

"You've actually got amnesia?" Minako asked.

"There seems to be a lot of that going around," Usagi said, thinking of the moon cats and Tuxedo Mask.

"So I'm not the only one?" Ranma said hopefully, figuring multiple cases likely had a common solution.

Usagi winced. "Sorry, different cases and theirs were caused by youma. You were hit by my- Moon's Purification attack so if it were caused by youma you'd be fixed already."

Ranma sighed and then winced as his cracked ribs made themselves known, and before anyone could stop her Hotaru reached out to heal him.

Ranma sighed and gently removed the pale girl's glowing white hand from his side causing the rest of the girls to wince as they expected him to react badly as people often did to the young girl healing them.

"What's the first rule of healing?" he asked sternly.

"There's rules?" Hotaru asked, shocked.

Ranma frowned. "No one taught you the rules?"

Haruka spoke up, "We weren't aware there were any rules, much less that anyone else could heal people like she does."

Ranma's eyes widened. "A natural healer, wow... I guess I'll have to let you off the hook for not knowing the rules then."

Hotaru's puppy dog eyes would have floored him if he wasn't already in bed. "Please tell me the rules!"

He folded like a cheap napkin.

"Rule number one; never heal someone without their permission unless it's an emergency."

"What if their life is in danger?" Usagi asked.

"That's an emergency," Ranma agreed.

"Or they have the access code to the bomb that the villain set to destroy the dam and kill everyone?" Haruka added.

"That's also an emergency," Ranma agreed.

Michiru smirked. "You and your political thrillers."

"Rule number two; never heal minor injuries unless the situation calls for it."

"Why not?" Hotaru asked curiously as everyone leaned in, interested themselves.

"There are a couple of reasons for that, for one thing; pain is the body's way of telling you something. If you heal someone who keeps overeating and getting a stomach ache, they'll never learn to stop doing it, and the toll on their body increases with repeated injuries."

Everyone nodded, seeing the sense in that.

"You also have to consider this, when injured your body strengthens the area. That is the whole basis of physical improvement. Exercises that leave you sore are doing damage to muscles so the body will rebuild them stronger, healing negates that by putting them right back at where they were."

Everyone looked over at Amy who nodded that he was right.

"Also, healing fractures in bones weakens the skeletal structure because it takes the calcium from your bone marrow to heal it. Leaving them to heal naturally does the same thing, but to a far lesser degree as the body will also supplement that calcium with the calcium from your diet. This effects older people more than younger ones, as younger people can absorb calcium and add it to their bones easier."

Everyone looked at Amy who shrugged, showing that it was beyond her.

"The final point to that is also rule number three; healer be stingy with your energy, because you may be called on to save a life at any time and if you fall, who will keep your precious people alive?"

Hotaru stared at him wide eyed. "I broke all of them."

"Yep, but don't worry about it. Even experienced healers break the rules, because good healers hate to see people in pain even when it's for their own good," he said and ruffled her hair, causing her to blush.

With a simple ram sign he focused green healing chakra into his left hand and ran it along his ribs. "I'll just take some calcium supplements and be good to go, I don't have to worry about calcium deficiency."

"If I train, will my healing energy turn green too?" Hotaru asked.

"Yep, healing chakra is a specific blend of your body's energies and the most efficient blend to heal with." Ranma held up his hand and let chakra gather in it, causing it to glow blue. "This is what trained chakra looks like for everyday use." He reached out and ruffled her hair with a glowing blue hand making her hair stand up and bringing color to her cheeks. "And it's great for pranks and giving someone else a little energy."

Hotaru giggled as she tried to control the puffball her hair had turned into.

"How do you remember all of that, but not who you are?" Makoto asked.

"The brain stores memories in different sections," Amy pointed out. "So it's possible to forget everything about yourself, while remembering everything you've learned, it's just rare."

"Cool, I didn't know that," Ranma said. "Or if I did I didn't remember it. How's that for irony?"

"Ranma?" came a tentative voice from the doorway.

"That's me," he replied. "Or so I've been told."

"Oh, my poor baby!" the red haired missile sobbed as she suddenly latched onto him.

"Uh, there, there..." Ranma tried, patting her back awkwardly.

"I'm sorry dear, it's just so rare to see you actually in a hospital unless you're almost dead," she said, standing up and wiping her eyes.

"Ok, then I'm guessing you're either my daughter or my wife, or perhaps my sister. I seem to have mislaid my memories of who I am at the moment."

"I'm your mother Nodoka," she said, smiling at his look of shock.

"Whoa... Either we age incredibly well or I'm adopted."

"Thank you for saying so dear, but you are my baby boy. I had you eighteen years ago, and I have the baby pictures to prove it." She smirked.

"I'm eighteen?" Ranma asked stunned.

"How old did you think you were, dear?"

"I dunno, somewhere between sixty and eighty...I mean I have an enormous amount of techniques in my head which makes me being eighteen a bit hard to believe."

Minako held up a mirror for Ranma to look in.

"Wow, ok I guess I am eighteen, apparently a really well educated eighteen year old."

"Not that well, son. Your father took you on a ten year training trip, focusing on nothing but martial arts, so while you are the best martial artist of your generation and one of the top martial artists in the world, you are woefully uneducated in many areas."

"He didn't even bring you home to visit, so I never got to correct that," Nodoka said sadly.

"One question," Ranma asked.

"Yes?"

"What's martial arts?"

"Oh dear..." Nodoka said numbly

"Is something wrong?" Ranma asked the stunned group who understood exactly how bad things seemed.

"Um, martial arts are basically combat skills that use your body as a weapon," Haruka explained.

"Oh, well I'm pretty handy there. From the description it sounds like you're talking about straight hand to hand combat. I have some skills there but I excel in energy manipulation," he explained, flipping through a few hand seals; causing a small water dragon to shoot out of the bathroom and circle around the room before returning.

Nodoka's hair tinged out almost as bad as Hotaru's, who had given up trying to smooth it down. "Son, can I test something?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure."

Nodoka went to the bathroom and got a small cup of water which she poured over Ranma's head, causing a change that stunned everyone.

"Sorry son, but I had to make sure you were you, because we've had people try to impersonate you before, but they've never managed to copy your curse."

Ranma was currently looking under the covers. "Yep, it's gone."

The girls were staring wide eyed except Hotaru, who had reached up and was feeling one of Ranma's breasts while he examined the other one.

"Dear," Nodoka said, attracting the attention of Ranma and Hotaru. "Don't play with your breasts in public."

"Sorry," Ranma apologized.

"Sorry," Hotaru apologized to him, turning a bright red.

Ranma waved it off. "I can hardly expect you to apologize when I was doing it too. It's a bit surprising and hard to believe they're real."

"Ok, what's my curse?"

"Cold water turns you into a girl, and hot water returns you to your natural form," Nodoka explained.

"How hot?" she asked.

"Enough for tea, but not enough to scald," Nodoka explained.

Ranma made several hand signs, and a tiny water dragon, with steam rising off it, zoomed in from the bathroom and hit her in the face, retuning her to his male form.

Ranma lifted the sheet as he and Hotaru reached down to check. Nodoka pushed the sheet back down and quickly and Haruka quickly hugged Hotaru, preventing either of them from grabbing it.

"Dear, its back – check in private later," Nodoka admonished him.

Ranma rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry mom."

"So how did this happen?" Amy asked.

"Well, Ranma's father took him to the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyou to train. Neither of them could read Chinese, so they couldn't understand any of the warnings. Anyone who is knocked into a spring will take the form of what drowned there when hit with cold water. Ranma was knocked into the Spring of Drowned Girl, while his father was knocked into the Spring of Drowned Panda. Fortunately it's only a physical change and the mind remains unaffected."

"Are there any other surprises like that I should know of?" Ranma asked concernedly, because he'd certainly never expected anything like this to happen to him.

"Well, there is the Nekoken," Nodoka said sadly.

"Nekoken?" Ranma questioned.

"Yes, an ultimate technique with a fatal flaw. It makes you terrified of cats, and if you can't escape from them you mentally become a cat."

"Your strength, speed and agility go up to ridiculous levels and you gain claws made of energy that cut through steel as if it were paper. Trust me when I say that when the details became known to me that I had a "talk" with your father that it took him months to recover from. The technique is banned because it kills most of the trainees and turns the rest into mindless berserkers who have to be put down. You were truly lucky and only became a friendly cat unless someone attacks you. Letting you take a nap or activating your curse snaps you out of it."

"Um," Moon said nervously holding Luna.

Ranma shrugged. "It'll have to wait until we can find some cats to test that out, but I think I misplaced that along with my memory."

Nodoka looked at Luna. "Dear, I believe that's a cat."

Ranma looked over at Luna as everyone tensed up waiting for his reaction.

"No, that's a nekotama." Ranma said, confusing everyone.

"Oh? How can you tell?" Nodoka asked.

"Well, I'm not an expert on cats, but I do know several things about them. Cats aren't allowed in hospitals, well normal cats aren't, and smuggling them in is a chore and the person to do so would be bleeding from several deep scratches. Cats also don't sit patiently and follow conversations as those two are doing." He grinned. "Or suddenly become fascinated by anything but the person speaking when it's pointed out."

Artemis sighed and returned his attention to Ranma while Luna tried to play dumb.

"Of course the most damning piece of evidence is..." Ranma trailed off as everyone leaned forward.

"I can sense them, and their spiritual presence is more like a human's than a cat."

"Yeah, well yours is more like one of the girl's than Tuxedo Mask's," Artemis retorted, annoyed.

Luna screeched, "Damn it! He could have been bluffing."

"I wasn't." Ranma shrugged. "And you two make lousy cats anyway. Anyone with half a brain can see you're intelligent just by the way your eyes move when you enter a room. You evaluate everything you see, so I'd peg you as advising spirits because you even pay attention to things fighters would dismiss as unimportant."

Luna seemed to calm down at Ranma's explanation. "Well, trying to hide one's intelligence is a pain."

Ranma snorted. "Tell me about it, it's easier when you can open your mouth and say things that no one with half a brain would ever think much less say, after that anything smart you do can be written off as dumb luck."

"The evidence is in puddles," Minako said, then winced, quickly covering it up by pretending something was in her eye.

"That's the proof is in the pudding," Amy corrected automatically, before looking at Minako suspiciously.

Ranma quickly drew everyone's attention back to himself. "So, we really don't know if the Nekoken will still affect me, because Artemis and Luna aren't in fact cats."

"You're taking this awfully well Mrs. Satome," Rei said. "Don't you find any of this in the least unusual?"

The red haired woman laughed. "This isn't all that unusual for something my son is involved in, with the exception of having amnesia and actually staying in a hospital, this is a pretty normal day in my son's life. He's got multiple fiancées, suitors, foes and challengers every day. Mainly because my husband makes poor decisions in everything but martial arts and I'm not quite sure it isn't simply more advanced training at times. Thanks to the multiple women, dearest has engaged to my son, he has fought everything from ghosts to gods. Every month Nabiki sends me pictures of Ranma battling myths and legends to save someone or get a cure for his curse."

"Do I really go through all that much to get rid of a minorly annoying curse?" Ranma asked doubtfully.

"Your father continually belittled you by saying you were a weak little girl to motivate you during training. A decade of that would leave its mark on anyone. To be honest, I haven't exactly helped things any with my own actions, but I want grandchildren to spoil the way I never got to spoil you," Nodoka sobbed out, wrapping her arms around her son who hugged her back just as strongly this time.

"It's not remotely too late to give me a little brother or sister you know?"

Nodoka recovered herself and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "That would require him coming home. He's still staying at the Tendo's, he claims you need his help to settle things, but he always seems to make things worse."

"Sounds like advanced training to me, some sensei are sneaky like that." He looked over his mom, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure he's not gay?"

Nodoka blushed and lightly smacked Ranma on the shoulder with a smile on her face. "No, he's simply more interested in training than anything else."

Ranma blinked as the word green seemed to float through his mind. "Huh, that almost sparked a memory. Tell you what, mom, if he's still there in a week I'll beat him senseless and chain him down for you, wanting to be a great anything is no excuse for neglecting your wife."

Nodoka hugged him again. "You're such a good boy. Well, I have your release papers, so whenever you're ready to get up and get dressed I can take you to the Tendo's and introduce you to your father."

"I thought I was going to be kept under observation for whatever I was poisoned with?"

"It's a nice hospital son, and unfortunately you have a tendency to get attacked in your sleep. Dr Tofu is your personal physician and he said we could stop by his clinic in the morning, but truthfully you've been poisoned enough that you've developed a broad based immunity to most toxins."

"Ouch. Do we have any idea who's poisoning me?"

"Lots of suspects and it could be anything from a dodgy love potion to someone trying to kill you so they can date one of your fiancées, but in this case I'm going to guess it was probably Akane. The poor girl can't cook to save her life."

"But she can cook to end mine," Ranma said, climbing out of bed wearing only a hospital gown.

He began to take off the hospital gown without regard for witnesses when his mother interrupted him, much to the straight watcher's disappointment, "Dear, still in public."

"Oops, sorry," Ranma apologized before making a couple of hand signs and turning into Ranko... then changing in front of everyone, demonstrating her natural hair color, including a curious Hotaru who handed Ranma clothes as she asked for them.

Ranma released the henge when he was clothed, turning male once more. "There we go."

Nodoka just shook her head with a smile, noting the way several girls were looking at him. Without trying he always drew women to him, even as a girl.

"It was nice meeting you all, but I had better get back to my life so I can find out who I am."

Michiru quickly pressed a card into Ranma's hand. "Please come by when you're feeling better, Hotaru needs training and you're the only person we've met who can provide that."

Ranma handed the card to his mother. "When I drop my father off this weekend hand the card to me, I don't think I want my playmates knowing where I'm going."

"Thank you!" Hotaru squealed, hugging Ranma around the waist.

Ranma ruffled her hair again, making it lay back down. "No problem kiddo, we'll have you walking on water and controlling water dragons in no time."

"Can we also get my breasts to grow as large as yours?" Hotaru asked excitedly.

Several of the girls winced and Michiru was about to say something, but Ranma fired back, "Of course we can, it's one of the perks of being a healer. It won't happen overnight, but by the time you're fifteen we can have them about that size. Just remember, it takes a lot of hard work to increase your chakra levels to that point, but it'll come naturally as we work on your skills."

Ranma ruffled her hair one last time and left a happily grinning Hotaru and a mass of stunned Senshi.

"That's my girl!" Haruka said proudly with a tear in her eye.

**AN: Everyone thank godogma for typing this out for me.**

**This is story #1 of 4 that have major characters personal memories removed and their souls switched around to see how they'd do.**

**In case you were wondering this is an old Naruto switched out with a post wedding Ranma in a Sailor Moon crossover verse. **


	2. Chapter 2

**New Lamps for Old – A Good Day to be a Fiancée**

"I still say you're much too young to be my mother," Ranma teased. "I'd say much too beautiful as well, but my female form is a fox."

Nodoka blushed.

"Are you sure we can't find you a better husband? I'm sure there is a handsome and virile king somewhere in the world in need of a queen, and Genma sounds a little …" Ranma shrugged.

Nodoka smiled. "Dearest does have his bad points, quite a few in fact, but he does have his good points as well and I love him."

"Well if you love him, I'll just have to see what I can do about his bad points," he said, ushering her into Dr Tofu's clinic.

"Whose bad points?" Dr Tofu asked as he looked up from the chart he was reading.

"The man this lovely young lady married," Ranma grinned.

"Genma? He's prone to acting without thinking, but he generally means well, and when he worked for me he was remarkably efficient. Jobs I thought should have taken an hour he generally completed in about ten minutes."

Ranma grinned. "So the old man does have his good points. I'll just have to see about filing off the bad ones to make them stick out more than."

Nodoka beamed, happy to hear someone saying good things about her husband for once. She winced as she set her ever-present katana down.

"Are you ok mom?" Ranma asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, dear. I must have pulled something working in the garden."

"I'll be the judge of that," Dr Tofu said with a grin, as he led Nodoka into one of the examination rooms, waving Ranma into the waiting room.

Ranma waited patiently until he heard a crash coming from the examination room and Dr Tofu burst from the room, grabbed a skeleton and proceeded to dance out the door.

Nodoka came out of the examining room a few seconds later, attempting to fasten her kimono but having problems because of her right arm.

"Hold on mom," Ranma said, his right hand glowing green after he flickered through a few quick hand signs.

"What are you … ah...." Nodoka relaxed and some of the tension went out of her face as Ranma ran his hand along her back and right shoulder.

"Try moving your shoulder now mom."

She rotated her shoulder and smiled as she tied her kimono without a trace of pain. "I don't know what you did, but that fixed it. Thank you, son."

"So, what happened to the doc?"

"I don't know. I took off the top of my kimono so he could examine my shoulder, then his glasses fogged up and he started acting very strange."

Ranma scratched his head. "Huh, weird... Well I don't think he'll be around to keep an eye on me, so why don't we just head home and I can stop by tomorrow to see if he's feeling better?"

"You're staying with the Tendo's at the moment, dear. Although, I suppose I could help with dinner if you'd like me to stay over."

"I'd like that a lot."

Nodoka beamed under the care and attention of her only child. She didn't have any physical scars from the training trip like he did, but she had her own share of emotional ones from their long separation.

They talked about his childhood as Nodoka told him stories about him as a child that she hadn't had the opportunity to share with him before.

All too soon they found themselves at the gate to the Tendo's. Ranma, having greatly enjoyed having time to spend with his mother, and Nodoka feeling as if she'd finally connected with her son.

"Hello Ranma, Auntie," Kasumi greeted them as she came out the gate with her grocery bag in hand.

"Hello Kasumi, I was wondering if you'd mind me joining you for the night and I was hoping you'd allow me to help you in the kitchen."

"That would be wonderful. Father and Mr. Satome are off celebrating something – I'm not quite sure what and Nabiki is spending the night at a friend's house while they work on some project or other, so it'll be just the three of us and Akane."

"Would you like some company shopping?" Nodoka asked.

"That would be wonderful, I don't have a big list but it's always more fun to shop with friends."

"Shopping it is," Ranma agreed.

"You don't have to come along, dear. I'm sure you'd rather spend the time alone with your fiancée, Akane."

Ranma gestured and there was a large puff of smoke, from which Ranko appeared. "Alright, I'll spend time with Akane while you three shop."

Nodoka was used to her son pulling off the impossible, so she took Ranko's appearance in stride, while Kasumi let out a quiet "Oh my."

Nodoka kissed her son on the cheek. "I have such a thoughtful son."

Ranko grinned and copied her. "Such a manly oni-chan."

Kasumi got an impish grin when Ranko nudged her toward him and kissed him on the cheek as well. "Such a well mannered young man."

The three giggled as the red faced Ranma retreated to the house.

"How does this work exactly?" Kasumi asked curiously as they walked.

"Oh, I can make any number of copies of myself and transform them into anything I like," Ranma explained.

"I've never seen you do it before, but I've seen Copy-Cat Ken transform into other people and Elder Cologne appear in a dozen places at once. Still, the way you copy techniques and then improve them is amazing. So, are you the original or a copy?"

"I'm the original. The clone will introduce itself to Akane and go through my stuff to see if anything sparks any memories."

"Pardon?" Kasumi asked confused.

"Ranma lost his memory, well at least the memories of who he is and his history," Nodoka explained.

"Wow, the last time that happened Akane hit you in the head with a frying pan to restore it."

Ranko frowned. "I'm almost positive that doing further damage to my brain is a bad idea and unlikely to return my memory."

"I'm going to have to agree with you, dear. I'm unaware of any legitimate medical technique that requires bludgeoning. In fact, that sounds like the kind of thing your father would come up with."

"Really? Did dad have anything to do with that?"

"Well, you were sparring with your father when Akane hit you in the head making you fall and hit your head on a rock. I'm not sure who came up with the idea of hitting you in the head to restore your memory, but your father and Akane were quite … enthusiastic about it."

Ranko froze for a second and then blinked. "Well she just killed my clone by hitting him in the back of the head when he turned away."

"What? Are you ok?" the two called out, concernedly.

"I'm fine," Ranko assured them. "When Shadow Clones get killed I get the memories, but nothing bad happens to me."

"I'm relieved to hear that, I was very worried for a moment there," Nodoka said, hugging Ranko tightly.

"The strike would have been lethal to an untrained individual, but what really worries me is that aside from poisoning me she apparently strikes me from behind quite often and is responsible for both times I've gotten amnesia."

"It's not intentional, she just …" Kasumi tried to make excuses for her little sister. "She just ..."

Ranko shook her head. "Intentionally or not, apparently we are not actually engaged, as neither one of us agreed to it, or if we were it has now been broken by her, before she struck me from behind with enough force to kill."

"Oh dear," Nodoka worried, wondering if Ranma had to put up with this sort of behavior from Akane the entire time he'd lived there.

"Akane ..." Kasumi shook her head sadly. She really couldn't excuse her behavior this time, or rather Ranma, the new Ranma, was unwilling to let such behavior stand. Kasumi couldn't really find it in her heart to blame him.

"Well at least her rants were informative," Ranko said before gesturing and causing several dozen Ranma clones to appear. "Split up and memorize the area guys."

"Aye, aye, sir!" came the instant reply.

"Henge into different people so no one thinks they're being invaded!" Ranko shouted.

Multiple poofing noises came from the spreading crowd of clones as they changed into a variety of people and animals.

Kasumi and Nodoka watched, stunned at the casual display of power.

"I wonder how much of your abilities you hid and why," Kasumi mused.

"No idea." Ranko shrugged.

The rest of the night went relatively quietly, with Akane sulking in her room and everyone else off doing their own thing, the three had an excellent time discussing various things and filling in some of the holes in Ranma's memory.

*** * * **

**The Next Day**

"Ranma wake – Aaaah!" she screamed as a thrown dagger slammed into the bucket of water before she could throw it, knocking her back and making her dump the bucket on herself.

Ranma woke and stretched, wondering what Akane was doing outside his door soaked and yelling.

Kasumi and Nodoka watched the soaking wet and cursing Akane.

"Why are you soaking wet and carrying a bucket?" Nodoka asked, unaware of the girl's preferred method of waking Ranma.

"That lunkhead knocked it all over me!"

Ranma shrugged. "I have no idea what she's talking about, her yelling woke me up."

"Pervert!" Akane yelled, spotting the tent in Ranma's boxers.

Ranma just raised an eyebrow. "Actually, that just means I have to pee."

Akane growled, but seeing she wasn't going to be getting any support, from the way Nodoka was frowning at her and Kasumi was blushing, simply stomped off to change into dry clothes.

Ranma gathered his clothes while Ranko surprised everyone by suddenly dropping from the ceiling and onto his futon.

"Akane threw open the door while yelling and was about to splash Ranma with a bucket of water, so I knocked it onto her," she explained.

"Tuck me in oni-chan?" she begged, batting her eyelashes at him.

Ranma chuckled and tucked Ranko into bed, brushing her hair out of her eyes and kissing her on the forehead. "Sleep well ni-chan."

Nodoka smiled at the scene and gave Ranko a kiss as well. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, but Ranma and Ranko were her children, or child... And they were adorable, if possibly in need of therapy.

Kasumi barely stopped herself from giving Ranko a kiss as well, amazed at the changes in Ranma since yesterday morning.

Ranma gestured and several Ranma clones appeared; one leaping onto the ceiling and fading from sight while the other two separated, vanishing out the door and window.

"So no one interrupts her sleep," Ranma said in response to the questioning glance from the two.

Ranma closed the door softly behind him, but despite the Occupied sign not being up on the door he waited in the hall.

Nodoka and Kasumi who were about to head back downstairs paused.

"Son, why are you waiting in the hall?"

"Akane's in there and I don't want her yelling at me when she's the one who forgot the sign."

"I doubt she's that bad," Nodoka said as a thoughtful Kasumi walked into the bathing area to a yell of "Ranma you p..."

Nodoka frowned. "That girl is really over sensitive, how long has she been like this?"

Ranma shrugged. "I have no clue."

Nodoka blushed. "Sorry, I keep forgetting."

"I hear there's a lot of that going around," Ranma said, struggling to keep a straight face until they both burst out in laughter.

Nodoka wiped a tear from her eye as she regained her breath. "Oh, son that was awful."

Ranma grinned unrepentantly as Kasumi led a blushing Akane to her room with a disappointed look on her face while talking about the possibility of Akane attending an all female boarding school.

"Do you really think an all female boarding school is necessary?" Nodoka asked when Kasumi returned.

"Quite possibly Auntie, you know what they say; hope for the best ..."

"But prepare for the worst." Nodoka nodded.

"And set anyone who threatens the family on fire," Ranma added solemnly before entering the bathroom.

Kasumi and Nodoka exchanged glances before heading downstairs to finish breakfast.

"Do you think he was serious?" Kasumi asked.

"Ranma prepare to – aaagh!" came the cry from upstairs before Ryoga appeared, running down the stairs with his hair on fire.

The two women watched as he ran outside and jumped into the koi pond, turning into a little black piglet.

Nodoka blinked. "I'm going to guess he was. Did Ryoga just turn into P-chan?"

"Yes he did," Kasumi replied sipping her tea. "Father and Mr. Satome have been using him to make Ranma jealous, and none of us have said anything because if Akane finds out she'll kill him and we don't want her in jail for murder."

Nodoka nodded thoughtfully, as a Ranma, clad in full body ninja gear with the lower half of his face covered in a black clothed mask, fished P-chan and his clothes out of the koi pond and looked at him curiously. "Still, it does sound a bit improper."

Kasumi nodded. "It is, but father is the head of the clan and in Ryoga's defense his curse affects both mind and body, and like Dr Tofu the merest hint of anything improper sets him off."

"Really?" Nodoka leaned forward, eager to hear a little gossip while in the backyard Nin-Ranma was pouring heated water on Ryoga and making him get dressed.

"Dr Tofu generally deals just with older clients because …" Kasumi blushed. "When I was younger and just beginning to reach my full growth ..."

"Yes?" Nodoka hid a smile behind her cup.

"I teased him a bit and he changed from Ryoga's 'nosebleed and pass out' condition to 'dance with Betty out the door'. That's why most of his patients are elderly now. If faced with any situation, in his professional capacity, where an attractive woman disrobes he starts dancing. I've been trying to slowly fix his condition by desensitizing him to me, but even the mention of my name sets him off."

Nodoka smiled. "I went to drop Ranma off with him and he wanted to look at my shoulder. When I undid my kimono he was off and dancing."

Nodoka and Kasumi giggled as Nin-Ranma entered with Ryoga in front of him.

"This intruder attempted to attack Ranko in her sleep."

"Is something wrong with Ranma?" Ryoga asked.

"Amnesia, and no hitting them in the head won't cure it," Nodoka quickly explained.

"Them?"

"Ranma has skills he's never shown before and has been creating clones left and right," Nodoka explained.

"He loses his memory and gains new skills?!" Ryoga looked ready to cry.

"No, I'd say he's revealed skills he's never needed to use before. But now that he's forgotten his usual methods, he's using them to compensate," Kasumi added. "They all appear to be major improvements on techniques he's seen others do."

"What should I do with the intruder Mistress Kasumi?" Nin-Ranma asked.

Kasumi blushed heavily and took a sip of tea to calm herself before answering, "Normally you'd have been awakened by his yell and then you'd have thrown him out the window, after sparring with him a bit you'd dunk him in the pond and put his clothes somewhere so he could pick them up later. While as P-Chan he'd come in and greet Akane and she'd feed him breakfast while eating."

"So I should splash him with some cold water and hide his clothes then?" Ranma asked.

"It's so I can protect Akane- " Ryoga began to protest, used to Ranma arguing with him.

"Good," Nin-Ranma said eagerly, happy to hear about a subject he was familiar with. "I'll go over poison neutralization techniques with you later, as well as using your sense of smell to detect them from across the room, but for now you need to get back in position, she'll be coming down soon."

Everyone blinked at the enthusiastic but alien topic from Ranma.

Ryoga opened his mouth but before he could say anything Ranma had splashed him and dried him off.

"Your clothes will be under the sofa," Nin-Ranma whispered to him before setting him on the cushion at Akane's place.

A second Ranma came downstairs, dressed and ready for school. "Report."

Nin-Ranma snapped his fingers and vanished, causing Ranma to nod and create another three. "One of you on guard, one of you on training Ryoga in anti-assassination techniques, and one... Do whatever you feel like."

The first Ranma transformed back into his ninja outfit and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

The second rolled his eyes and muttered, "Drama queen!" making Kasumi and Nodoka giggle while he cleaned up the leaves.

The third gave Nodoka and Kasumi a hug before transforming into a raven and flying away.

"So why did Akane hit you from behind last night?" Kasumi asked.

"I'm not quite sure," Ranma responded quietly. "I explained about my amnesia and asked her to tell me about myself, I figured as my fiancée she should know quite a lot about my personal life."

Nodoka smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Very well reasoned, son, go on."

"She explained that I am married to a girl named Shampoo by her tribe's customs and while not legally binding here it is a serious matter and apparently I did so by winning a tournament."

"Partially," Kasumi explained. "You were competing for a prize that you and your father had already eaten. You won and the rematch is what married you."

"That makes more sense," Ranma said nodding thoughtfully. "There is also Ukyou, my friend from childhood, who is also my fiancée but we spent her dowry and abandoned her."

"You had no idea she was even a girl at the time, you were much too young to notice and Genma never told you about the engagement."

"Thanks, I feel a lot better about my part in that now... Though worse about my father's."

"The dowry was a food cart, and Ukyou's father knew you were already engaged. Mr. Satome tried to do the right thing, but he gave in to temptation. His greatest weakness is food."

Nodoka smiled. "That's comforting. I know dearest has his flaws, but at least he didn't go into it planning to destroy someone's life."

Ranma nodded. "I'm engaged to Ukyou and really close to her, although I'm married to Shampoo, but more reserved with her because her tribe's customs are strange to me."

Kasumi nodded. "That sounds about right."

"Now, I'm told Kodachi scares me and that she's rich and insane?"

"She's … enthusiastic and very driven to win you," Kasumi allowed, trying hard not to say anything bad about the girl.

Ranma frowned thinking it sounded familiar. "Does she have any friends?"

Kasumi thought for a moment. "I haven't heard of any. The closest thing she has to a friend, I've heard of, is her ninja Sasuke."

Ranma locked eyes with his clone and both started a thorough scan for any hidden nin.

The Ranma in the living room vanished, only to reappear with a tiny rat faced nin in tow.

"Sasuke?" Ranma asked, finding Sasuke's appearance amusing for some reason.

"Yes Master Ranma?" Sasuke asked nervously. He'd been listening in on everything since early this morning, as he'd been commanded by both the Kuno children and normally no one had a problem with it, but this new Ranma was an unknown and didn't seem nearly so forgiving as the old one.

"Does Kodachi have a lot of friends?"

"She has her teammates," Sasuke offered as Ranma set him down.

"Are they teammates or underlings?"

"Underlings," he wryly admitted.

Ranma nodded. "Leave a person alone and isolate them and they get a bit intense. I bet she just needs friends. I'm sure me and Ranko can help with that."

Nodoka smiled at her son's generosity while Kasumi made a plate for the tiny nin.

"Anyway, Akane was explaining that the reason I'm so hard to wake up in the morning is because I sneak out at night to see Shampoo and Ukyou. I was writing that down when she broke off the engagement and hit me from behind. At any rate, I didn't go anywhere last night and you saw the way she behaved. The engagement was clearly making her miserable, as well as adding to my own romantic entanglements, so I have to agree with her breaking off the engagement. The other three girls are apparently happy as long as they get sufficient attention to let them know I care for them, so I think I can work things out to keep them happy."

Sasuke's eyes got wide. "You have enough energy to keep up with three female martial artists? When will you sleep?!"

Ranma grinned. "I have enough energy to keep up with them easy, and that's without using clones. With clones I can manage... About a thousand on a long term basis, or ten times that amount for two weeks."

Nodoka smiled. "Well at least your self confidence hasn't been affected. I do find that hard to believe though."

Ranma's chuckle made the hair on everyone's neck stand up … or it could have been the blue glow that surrounded him as he called out, "Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Suddenly there were wall to wall Ranmas, stretching out the door as far as the eye could see.

"I take it back, I do believe you and I can't believe I'm saying this but you may actually be **too** manly."

Ranma waved a hand and clones started vanishing section by section, with the exception of the odd clone here or there opting to take off on their own initiative.

"You didn't crush my flowers did you?" Kasumi asked worriedly.

Ranma gestured to a section of clones who were awaiting their turn to pop. "You, make sure the yard is perfect and the local flora is unharmed."

"Thank you!" Kasumi said relieved.

"It's no problem, Kasumi. If you need anything done, just let me know and I'll get it done," he promised, earning him a dazzling smile, quite at odds with the frowning Akane who'd finally made her appearance at the head of the stairs.

"Ranma! Stop flirting with Kasumi!" Akane ordered.

"No," Ranma said, not denying he was flirting with a now red faced Kasumi as she realized that fact. "I am **NOT** engaged to you, and your sister is both single and knows about my situation so it's none of your concern."

"What?" Akane asked, stunned.

"You broke the engagement last night and I accepted your decision. My father has apparently complicated my marital status to an insane degree. Anyone I married would have to accept that they would not be in a traditional relationship. You get angry when I spend time with any of the other girls I'm involved with. Thus it's obvious, you can't handle the reality of the situation – the fact that you hate me is really beside the point with all that's going on."

"I … you … argh!" Akane sputtered.

"We no longer have a relationship, so you no longer have a say in what I do," Ranma summed up, not giving her a chance to respond as he really was tired of all the anger and hate she spewed in his direction.

He kissed his mother on the cheek, waved bye to Kasumi, and headed off to school.

"Why does he think I hate him?" Akane asked, wondering why Ranma was behaving so strangely.

"You poisoned him and caused severe head trauma yesterday," Nodoka pointed out.

"I didn't do it on purpose! I tried my best to make something he'd like, then he insults me and acts like it made him sick," she complained.

"It actually did make him sick."

"I had to pick him up from the Juuban Critical Care unit, and he had no idea who I was," Nodoka said, wondering at the change in Akane now that Ranma was gone.

"But I tasted it and I'm not sick!" Akane protested.

"If he ate more than you did, that means he got a larger dose, then you hit him into some sort of battle zone, where he was hit by a magical attack, or possibly a few of them. Fortunately at least one of them sped up his recovery and I was able to bring him home. Unfortunately he's suffered nearly total memory loss, which means all he knows of you is what he saw last night and this morning," Nodoka explained.

"Oh no! I thought he was teasing me, saying my food was so bad it wiped his memory, then he asked me all those perverted questions."

"That's because he knew nothing about himself, and trusted his fiancée to tell him the truth. What perverted questions?" Nodoka asked.

"He wanted to know how he treated all the other girls and how intimate he was with them," Akane growled.

Kasumi nodded. "He didn't want to behave improperly, or take liberties he wasn't allowed by them. So, he'll be basing how he treats them and how close they are, by what you said last night."

Akane paled and would have rushed out the door, but Kasumi's voice cracked like a whip, "Sit!"

Akane found herself sitting at the table with P-Chan in her lap with no memory of how she got there.

"You will sit there and think about what you've done. Ranma trusted you, and judging by your reactions, you lied to him. I seriously doubt what you did will damage his relationship with them, since you'd more than likely be smug about that rather than scared. No, going by your reaction you impugned his honor and theirs, spouting off about how he was running around behind your back and sleeping with them, when you knew it was a lie."

"That's why I have to stop him, the baka will..." Akane quailed under Kasumi's glare.

"That "baka" will treat them the way he should have been treating them all along, like girls who are in a serious relationship with him. You foolishly broke off your own engagement, so you no longer have any say in the matter."

Nodoka nodding approvingly at Kasumi. She'd always enjoyed seeing the iron hand hidden inside the velvet glove most traditional women projected.

"I would also like an explanation for the incident in the bathroom this morning."

Akane groaned. She'd hoped Kasumi had forgotten about **that** mistake already, after all nothing had gotten broken and the only thing bruised was her ear. "Ranma is the only person who bursts in on me in the bathroom, everyone else knocks first."

"And the lack of the sign?" Kasumi asked, as Akane's explanation spoke more of reflex than any attempt to trap Ranma.

"Between dad and Mr. Satome taking it down, so me and Ranma would walk in on each other, and Nabiki doing it for a laugh, I'd given up on putting it up," Akane admitted.

Kasumi took a sip of tea. "I see. I'd suggest you get back in the habit, as I'll be having words with them about it. For now, eat your breakfast and we'll say no more about it."

Akane proved she was a practitioner of Anything Goes by demonstrating a rough copy of the Satome Eating Technique, leaving her bowl clean and P-Chan's cheeks bulging in a matter of seconds, whereupon she vanished out the door.

Kasumi's eyes widened. "Oh my, I had hoped to give Ranma a bigger head start, but I suppose that will have to do."

"What did you expect to happen?" Nodoka asked.

"I expect Akane will try and pretend nothing has changed and hope he goes along with it. He won't of course, even if the Ranma she's used to dealing with would have. Akane doesn't adapt well to change, but I believe he'll get his point across."

"It's going to break her heart," Nodoka sighed.

"All girls get their hearts broken at some point. For her sake it's better to have it done now, when it has a chance of helping her learn from it. Besides, she needs someone who knows how to deal with her temper and Ranma is too good natured."

"I am?" Nin-Ranma asked, suddenly appearing.

"Oh yes," Kasumi assured him. "You rarely get angry and are very forgiving."

Nin-Ranma nodded. "Hopefully I'm still that way. Well, enough lollygagging – Ryoga, it's time for training. Body guard work is one of the toughest jobs you can take and requires a fair amount of specialized skills. We'll start with seeing through illusions and recognizing disguised threats, poisons we'll cover during lunch."

*** * ***

Ranma landed in front of U-chan's restaurant, just as Ukyou walked out and locked the door. "Ranchan!" she greeted him with a blinding smile that made him wish he could remember her.

"Hi, thanks to a combination of head injuries and unidentified toxins I've lost my memory," he quickly explained. "Fortunately the hospital called my mom, and between her and Akane, with some additions from Kasumi, I'm mostly up to date on my life."

"Um..." Ukyou began. "I don't know if Akane's views are all that accurate. She has a tendency to exaggerate and only see what she wants to see."

Ranma stepped in close to Ukyou and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Does that mean I don't ravish you nightly? Sneaking in after the restaurant is closed to have my wicked way with you?" he asked, his face so close she could feel his breath.

He could see the struggle in her eyes before she sighed and slumped against him. "No, as much as I'd like you to – you treat me like your best friend not a girl you desire."

"Well lucky for you, I don't remember my best friend – all I see here is a beautiful young woman who I'm going to marry at some point. So if she wants ravishment, I'll fill all orders of ravishment she'd care to place."

"Really?" Ukyou asked hopefully while blushing a bright red.

"Really," he promised. "I'd like to get to know you again first, but since you are my fiancée, I'll willingly and with a great deal of pleasure skip straight to the ravishing. I just think it'll mean more if we get to know each other again first."

He marveled at how open Ukyou was, he could read her emotions like she was holding up big neon signs with flashing lights announcing to the world that he had her heart and she wanted everything to be perfect, but she thought she'd lose her chance if she didn't take any opportunity offered.

"Or we could combine the two," Ranma offered.

"You can do that?" Ukyou asked, wondering how that would work.

"Sure," he promised, before sweeping her up in a kiss that left her breathless. "And the more intimately we get to know each other, the more intimate we'll get, but none of that cheap back alley or bushes stuff. I'm thinking a cabin in the mountains, walks on the beach..."

Ukyou pinched her arm suddenly then rubbed it with a big smile on her face, but the ringing of a bicycle bell made her smile drop off as she groaned, "Shampoo."

Ranma grinned and put a finger to her lips. "Watch."

"Airen!" Shampoo called out, suddenly accelerating and just missed landing on a familiar figure, as he dodged to the side at the last moment.

Ukyou blinked a few times and then poked Ranma to make sure he was solid before looking at the man Shampoo was talking to again. "How?"

Ranma grinned. "I couldn't reduce the number of women I'm involved with without breaking hearts and damaging everyone's honor, but I can increase the number of Ranmas, so there's no need to compromise. You deserve someone who'll be with you all the time, not just on the weekends."

"Ranma-honey, you really can do anything can't you?" Ukyou said, slowly beginning to smile once more, as she realized that not only was Ranma serious about being with her, but she no longer needed to worry about the competition either.

A tiny little corner of her heart tried to work up a spark of jealousy, but since she was now living out her wildest fantasy she couldn't begrudge them theirs.

*** * ***

Ranma sidestepped the oncoming bike, but the Amazon glomp that followed he was sure to hold still for.

"Airen!" Shampoo called out, hugging him tightly. "You take Shampoo on date, yes?"

"Sounds like a plan," Ranma agreed.

"Really?" Shampoo asked stunned.

"Really," he promised. "In fact, let's stop by the restaurant and let grandmother know you'll be busy for the rest of the day. Then we'll go do whatever you want, sound good?"

Before Shampoo could answer they were both splashed with water and Akane ran up yelling something about saving him.

"Save me from what?!" Ranma asked, cuddling the purple cat Shampoo had turned into to her chest while dodging Akane's attempts to grab her.

"From the cat?" Akane ventured, wondering why Ranma wasn't afraid.

"The nekotama I'm holding happens to be my Amazon wife, Shampoo, and I can assure you I neither need nor want to be saved from her."

Ranma gathered up Shampoo's clothes and placed them and her in the bike's front basket before pedaling off.

"But … but … arrgh!" Akane growled and stomping on the ground as she stomped off to school, frustrated at not understanding what was going on.

**AN: Thank godogma for the typing and dogbertcarroll for the typos!**


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